The holidays are often called “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many people, the experience is more complicated. This season can bring financial strain, complicated family expectations, heavier emotional weight, increased social demands, and the kind of exhaustion that settles in after a long year. Some people welcome the celebrations, while others simply try to navigate December as smoothly as possible.
Regardless of how you participate, holiday stress doesn’t discriminate. It affects people everywhere, across every income level and walk of life.
If you’ve ever felt like the holidays are harder than they’re supposed to be, you’re in good company. The good news is that with intentional, realistic choices, you can make this season gentler on your mind and body. What follows are grounded, accessible approaches to managing holiday stress, along with reminders about supportive resources like 211 and 988 that are available whenever you need them.
It's ok to not be ok
One of the most overlooked aspects of holiday stress is the pressure to feel cheerful at all times. The cultural expectation is that December should be filled with gratitude, excitement, and constant joy. But real life doesn’t pause for the holidays. Financial worries still exist. Family conflicts remain. Grief may resurface with more intensity. Shorter days and colder weather can affect your energy and mood. And sometimes you’re simply tired from everything the year has demanded of you.
It’s completely valid if you’re not swept up in holiday spirit. You don’t owe anyone a performance of joy. Allowing yourself to notice and name your emotions, without trying to push them away, creates space for a calmer, more grounded experience. If you’re sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or disconnected, acknowledging it doesn’t make you negative. It makes you honest. And honesty helps you make clearer decisions about what you need and what will support your wellbeing during this season.
Set Realistic Expectations
A major source of holiday stress comes from trying to meet expectations that far exceed what we actually have the capacity to deliver. Many people feel pressure to cook extravagant meals, attend every gathering, travel long distances, buy expensive gifts, or maintain traditions that no longer fit their lives or budgets. When your expectations don’t match your reality, stress grows quickly.
Instead, consider deciding what is truly manageable this year. Let “good enough” be acceptable. Keeping meals simpler, adjusting gift exchanges to something more affordable, or choosing to participate in fewer events can significantly reduce tension. You might decide that attending one meaningful gathering is more fulfilling than rushing between several. You may simplify travel plans or shift family traditions so they feel less demanding. There is no universal standard for how the holidays should look. What matters is creating an experience that doesn’t deplete your emotional, financial, or physical resources.
Stay Rested
The pace of the holidays tends to speed up right when many people feel most worn out. That makes rest feel like something you have to “earn” or something you’ll get to once everything else is finished. In reality, rest is essential, not optional. When you’re emotionally stretched or managing tight schedules and financial concerns, even small moments of rest can make a real difference.
Rest doesn’t need to be a long break or a full day off. It can be a quiet moment in the morning before everyone else wakes up, a slow walk outside to clear your head, turning your phone off for a short period of time, or taking a few extra minutes in the evening to decompress. These pauses help your nervous system unwind and allow you to show up more fully for the things you want to be part of.
Honor Your Boundaries
Holiday gatherings can bring warmth and connection, but they can also bring tension. Old family dynamics, conversations you’d rather avoid, differing expectations, or emotional stress can all surface during this time of year. Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean your boundaries disappear. In fact, they matter even more.
Boundaries might look like choosing which gatherings you attend, limiting how long you stay, stepping outside for a short break when conversations become overwhelming, or politely steering conversations away from sensitive topics. You might decide that your finances don’t allow for participating in certain exchanges or events. You might choose to spend time with specific people who help you feel grounded rather than drained. Boundaries aren’t walls; they are safeguards for your emotional wellbeing. They help you move through the season with more peace and less guilt.
Create Simple Moments of Joy
Holiday joy doesn’t have to come from big gifts or expensive experiences. Some of the most meaningful moments grow out of simplicity. Taking a walk after dark to look at neighborhood lights, listening to music that brings comfort, watching a familiar movie, baking something inexpensive, writing a heartfelt note to someone you appreciate, or creating small traditions that fit your current life can all bring genuine connection and warmth.
These moments remind you that joy doesn’t depend on money or elaborate plans. It’s about presence, intention, and the small sparks of meaning you can create for yourself and others. When you stop trying to do everything and instead focus on what feels authentic, the holiday season becomes more accessible and less stressful.
Stay Connected
Not everyone experiences the holidays surrounded by family or busy social calendars. Many people navigate loneliness, grief, distance from loved ones, strained relationships, or life changes that make the season feel heavy. If this resonates with you, your feelings are completely valid.
Connection doesn’t have to come from large gatherings. It can be something as small as calling a friend, joining a local event at a community center or library, volunteering for an hour, chatting with a neighbor, or accessing supportive community resources. Even brief moments of connection can help reduce the weight of loneliness. And if you don’t know where to start, calling 211 can help you locate local services and community opportunities that may be a good fit.
Practice Small Daily Habits
When the holidays feel chaotic, simple routines can help steady your mind. Taking a few slow breaths throughout the day, writing down a short list of things you’re grateful for, maintaining basic hydration and meals, getting fresh air, moving your body in small ways, or reducing exposure to news and social media can help you feel more grounded. These habits don’t need to be perfect or time-consuming. They simply offer structure and calm during a season that often feels unpredictable.
Remember You are Not Alone
For some people, holiday stress becomes more than feeling stretched thin, it becomes truly overwhelming. If you’re facing financial hardship, loneliness, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis, there is help available.
You can call 211 to be connected with community resources, including food assistance, housing support, bill assistance, childcare, transportation resources, crisis services, and more. It’s free, confidential, and accessible to everyone.
If you’re experiencing emotional distress, feeling unable to cope, or having thoughts of suicide, calling or texting 988 connects you with trained counselors who are available around the clock. You don’t need to be in active crisis to reach out. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, support is there.
Give Yourself Grace This Season
The holidays don’t need to look perfect to be meaningful. They don’t need to match anyone else’s expectations. Let this season be gentler than years past. Let it reflect your needs, your capacity, and your reality. Offer yourself patience when things don’t go as planned. Celebrate small joys. Adjust traditions to fit your life. And remind yourself that caring for your own wellbeing is not selfish, it’s essential.
No matter what your holidays look like, simple, busy, joyful, complicated, or somewhere in between, you deserve peace and support. And when things feel too heavy to manage alone, remember that 211 and 988 are always within reach. You’re not alone this season, and you don’t have to navigate holiday stress by yourself.